When I became a mom, I kept thinking, Why didn’t anyone tell me it could be this good?

Not easy or tidy. But soul-expanding in a way that reoriented everything I thought I knew about myself, my work, and what was possible.

And yet, when I looked around, the dominant narratives I saw were filled with fear, sacrifice, and loss. Articles warned me about how much money I’d forfeit if I left the workforce. People told me, your life is over. Even during pregnancy, so much of what I heard was rooted in lack.

That’s why this conversation with Dr. Gertrude Lyons felt so affirming.

Dr. Gertrude is a TEDx speaker, author of The Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust, and transformational coach who is helping women reclaim motherhood as a path of self-realization.

She says it best: “You never stop rewriting mother codes.”

What are mother codes?

Mother codes are the inherited beliefs we carry (often unconsciously) about what it means to be a “good” mother. Many of us internalized these codes long before we were born. Through cultural messaging, family dynamics, religion, media, even the tone in a waiting room, we start absorbing expectations before we know they’re optional.

Dr. Gertrude’s book explores how these codes shape us and how we can rewrite them with intention.

She describes the shift this way: moving from seeing motherhood as a sacrificial duty to embracing it as a sacred opportunity for growth. For women with children, yes. But also for those mothering businesses, dreams, or themselves.

The most radical thing? Choosing yourself.

One moment that stayed with me was when Dr. Gertrude said the biggest barrier to rewriting these codes is often the quiet belief that we don’t deserve to. That we’re not worth the time, attention, or energy it takes to live differently.

Even when we know it’s not true, that message can run so deep we barely notice it’s there.

So much of the world teaches women to disappear. We’re praised for selflessness. Conditioned to put everyone else first. Taught to ignore our own instincts if they don’t align with what’s “normal.”

Mothering yourself is the antidote. Not in a surface-level, self-care kind of way, but in the real, gritty, daily work of staying close to your own inner voice. Trusting what you feel and giving yourself the same presence and protection you’d offer a child.

This is what creates change in both our personal lives and the culture we pass on.

It’s about rebirth. And not just once. Over and over again.

Mother curious?
You’re welcome here.

Whether you’re raising children, nurturing a creative vision, or simply trying to stay rooted in your own identity, this conversation speaks to something universal.

Dr. Gertrude reminded me that mothering isn’t confined to one definition. It shows up wherever we invest our care, our creativity, our attention. And it evolves as we do.

One of the most healing things we can do is turn that care inward. When we mother ourselves well, we expand what’s possible for everyone around us.

If this conversation sparked something in you, I hope you’ll keep exploring.

You can grab a copy of The Mother Code: From Sacrifice to Stardust here, and listen to the full interview on Apple Podcasts or Spotify.